So, I went out last night. I was so emotional drained and exhausted. I had napped far too long during the day, and pretty sure that I'm starting my period. However, I had organized the function, the group, I was obligated and all of that. I secretly, outloud, blamed my dear friend for introducing me to these people, who were so good to be around, that I would go the extra mile when tired. He did it!
So, I'm in my car, the dusk is upon me, I'm late, I replayed the song that I had one, because I really like that song, and it occurred to me that I had just been driving and not really listen to it. I'm not completely sure how many times I actually repeated it.
The place we went has a Handi-Capable parking spot for me to park in. This verbiage annoyed me long before the addition of the cane to my life. I am already fucking capable of more than most people; therefore, if you were smart enough, and believed enough, you wouldn't have to draw attention to it. I don't need my own attention drawn to it. I'd rather be called gimp. At least that's a word that I can stand a chance of kicking someone's ass and demonstrating just how "capable" I am against. Fucking dorks with their fucking "handi-capable" signs.
So, I arrived. The sign didn't annoy me enough not to take the Rock Star Parking though. Friends were there, we ate and drank, and had cake. One dear friend wasn't going to make it for the rest of the evening. She had to deal with Gift Certificate Saturday at her work. All those people who wouldn't become regulars, who wouldn't get that her work was maintenance work, self-help work, betterment work. And they are for the most part, shitty tippers. She not all of this. And the girlfriend of a friend noted that she was one of the Gift Certificate people. So, my worker friend, who had been up to elbows in snatch hair removal all day long, for ten hours, became concerned that she had hurt the other woman's feelings. My friend, even after ten hours, still caring, such a giver. I said that I thought the other woman would be ok. Not to worry. Right now, was her time to be taken care of. And truth is the best defense, right?!? Ten hours of snatch is a lot. After that, you can say anything to want to anyone, I think.
We moved on, to hear my friend read his poems. He's so funny. I know that he's good in the spotlight, but when it comes to his poems, he's so bad about sharing. You have to demand it out of him. He's gotten better about sharing though. He used to not tell anyone when and where he was reading. Now, we at least get that. And he was good. So good. It refreshed me. To be around smart, clear thinking, innovative, outspoken people is refreshing.
And there was another man who spoke as well. He was good, too. So, good. I will get all the information on these two and pass them along shortly.
Images, sounds, vowels, trips to foreign places, loves and losses, and moments, not mine...all danced vividly in my head. Creation served out for us, made so easy...all you had to do was sit quietly and listen. It just doesn't get easier to take care of yourself than that.
There were, of course, a couple of trendy shitbags, who came in the middle of the reading. I didn't spit on them, as I would have in my youth. I didn't make a scene, as I would have, in my youth. But, I did want to. How can you be given such a treat, just a gift, and soil it with such irreverence to the badasses before you? Fucking fucks.
Do I know that these two are just men? Of course, I do. But, it doesn't mean you get to ignore when something is just that cool. And the fact that those sounds came out of very ordinary men, well, that makes the point doesn't it? The ordinary becomes the extra-ordinary. Why would anyone want to miss that? Those moments are so few and far between these days for all of us.
I was asked for the second time this month, if I was a promoter. Nope. I couldn't be that. I can't promote things that are shit, so I couldn't have that job. But, like the Dyson Guy..."I just think things should work properly."
There was another guy, talking about holding back his next publication, until he had been excepted by the literary community. I didn't say it outloud but...but good luck with that. The majority of the "literary" community are idiots. They are hanger ons to others thoughts and words...never really developing a sense of themselves...egos for the sake of having an ego to follow. and sometimes, this community just makes shit up. And people are susceptible to devouring it. It can be dangerous not to have your own thoughts. I have examples.
So, I was sad for this man that he would choose to limit himself is such a way. We all may not like Britany Spears, but she put her shit out there for everyone. If more of the so called community members took that plunge, perhaps we'd have a bigger community influence of encouraging free thought and expansion and less of the Britany Spears. I'm just saying.
And why wait for acceptance? Is it just not go enough to do something for the sake of doing it? Sometimes doing is the fun part. You may just get that one shot, one life...and who cares about acceptance? There are billions of people on the planet, if you make a booboo, you can move and make new friends...unless of course the government has been following your and wire tapping you...then you may have to make a few more adjustments. :) But, I didn't say this all to this man. I didn't care that much.
And there was a kind man, who worked the room, it was his gig to organize. He may not know that he has a special power of making people feel comfortable. Amazing to watch. And he got me, too. I felt comfortable.
What a good night. I was recharged. I could take on anything. Just good stuff.
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