If You Have An Extra Leaf To Turn Over....Fucking Sell It Already

I haven't had time to post, or do much of anything...so hold on to your reading glasses, this is going to be a big one.

Christmas day was smooth sailing. Maybe the first one ever for me. I called people and let them know that I was thinking of them. I visited my friends, and hung out with the family. It was pretty ok.My dear friend Craig had a cold, and my dear friend Ric, well, his ears are tickling, and this morning I now have it. It's the cedar trees. Amazing that nature can, and will, still get us all. The power there is just to great. Our planet always wins. The giant rock that we float on, will always win. Amazing how much dogma we've grated to comfort ourselves from that truth. Dogma has been used to control ourselves and control others. Amazing that the beauty that surrounds us, the intricacies of the universe are not enough to be recognized and sustain us. We are a bossy bunch.My Mother-In-Law is deeply Catholic. She did make a face when my child didn't know how to say Grace at the table. But, she's pretty good about keeping her views to herself. She's above average good about not being to bossy on her views on her religion. I can appreciate that, and respect her very much for that. We did have a roundtable discussion after dinner. She couldn't agree with me on some points. In my mind, it's crazy to have churches laden with golden statues, and jewels and have people standing outside the church starving.

Sell it, sell it all and feed people.

I don't believe in fancy, smacy icons. Nope. She also asked me if I thought some people have too much money and should take care of the rest of people who didn't...like Bill Gates or basketball players. I said, yes, yes, I did believe that. That if, indeed, you did have too much money, you should be bettering the lives of others. Yes, for the hell of it, you should give as much as possible away. Everyone could save a little back to be buried with if they needed it....sure why not.

All of those red-carpet events, with expensive loaner jewelry, and fine silks, well, it does freak me out. And I think it would freak out the likes of Jesus, Martin Luther King, Gandhi, etc.

Now comes the Year's end for us all. I am reflective, of course. It's been a hard, long year. Not just for me. A lot of people around me have had a long year. I escaped with some lessons about myself and a broken leg. Pretty easy for me, all in all. Some people lost everything they own and people they knew are still just missing. Really, look at your home, and maybe the person right next to you...just gone. Just gone. Imagine that. Quite sobering.

(Up to the new year)

Well, I slept. I slept so much that it hurt. I've been over eating, not exercising, not calling people back and dreaming. I 've been cocooning myself. 2005 was a deadly year of big lessons.

I drank my laxative tea. I have stock piled a lot of useless shit. And my useless shit will manifest itself in hurting my bodily form. I'm not getting any younger, so I really can't afford to fuck around with my body so much. I was truly excited and happy about the turn over of the calendar date. As though that one turning of the clock would hold so much promise and hope.

I waited until I saw the clock turn midnight to exclaim to myself, to let my breath completely out, and admit to myself that I had actually made it...that I had actually survived 2005. It was over. I spoke to a friend about it. He had the same feeling, that there was indeed some sort of relief and hope. The fact that he was sitting in 2005 either, as silly as it sounded, made him happy, too.However, the glee of the calendar change is not without warnings and struggles of change. Life cannot be just that simple. There has to be struggle in order to obtain peace and to reach nirvana. I had almost had a perfect twenty-four hours. Almost. In reading my horoscope from Mr. Brezsny of Free Will Astrology, I will need a humongous vacuum to clean up my act. I must dispose of things that have been holding me back for the past ten years. Ten Years?!?!, you say.Yes, the past ten years. I can name most of them.
Link: http://freewillastrology.com/horoscopes/20051222p.html