Can you can wisdom from a show about a hairdresser? Well, maybe. That is where I found some wisdom this week. There I was, on the couch, in yesterday's, or at least some time this week's, dirty clothes, snacking on chocolate cereal because I'm too lazy to actually make the chocolate cake, without a shower or anything. Yes, there I was.
I'm always so nervous, and I second guess myself to the trillionth degree. And usually come to find out, I am smarter, I do know more, and if I'd only gone with my gut instinct without hesitation whatever it is or was would have been better and stronger in the first place. Instead, I find myself picking up after myself way to often.
I found that I haven't been dying my hair enough lately either. That show sure did teach me a lot. With many things to consider.
I sat at lunch the other day, with three college graduates. I being the only one who did not go to college. I read on my own, and I traveled and had many many many other life experiences.
The three of them all were talking about how college is a real must. How going to college was very important. How you couldn't learn anything, not really, i.e. critical thinking skills, unless you'd been to college.
I really had nothing to say on their experience...except I had the same job as they did, and didn't go to mo' fancy schoolin' like they did. It was only one of them that might have realized a tiny bit what they sounded like. Hard to say. I politely waited until this part of the conversation was over with.
I'm not down on college, mind you. I don't regret not going for the learning part. I sometimes regret that we have a system that makes us have a little tiny signed piece of paper that allows sometimes complete idiots get into power positions just cause they have a signed piece of paper approving them for positions in our society. A comfort zone for jackasses...that's what we've made. I always wanted the idea of college to be the actual collection of knowledge in one place to go. But, most people don't use it for that. It's a means to an end...not the means to a beginning that I thought it would be. So, I didn't go...I took off for Mexico for a couple of years.
These three talked about late night discussions with other college people...and how they all we exposed to new ideas and ways of thinking...just from the late night coffee sessions. I thought about all of the times me and a few others dropped acid and talked until the wee hours of the morning at the local coffee shop. Not so different. And mine cost the price of the hit of acid and a cup of joe.
So my thoughts on this conversation was they did in fact have a real experience, but they were still tooting their own horn a bit about this wonderful institution that had taught them that in this place that they went, it was the only place in the world to get that experience...that was it...critical thinking inside the box.
And me, I sat quietly about it...I was remembering the people that I've had and still have the pleasure of knowing who can draw from experiences that weren't so institutionalized. A paper degree does not make the person. And how sad to hold onto it, that piece of paper so much...to validate oneself with it. History has shown us, that most of our critical thinkers, our inventors, our entrepreneurs...didn't go to college.
If I had said all these things at the lunch...It wouldn't have been very good...so I didn't. I didn't want them to feel like their bubble was being burst, or that I just didn't understand because I was one of "those" people.
So, instead, I sat on the couch today...gaining knowledge from a hairdresser...realizing that I have yet to realize my own dream. I have yet to decide what I want to be when I grow up. I do know that I'm not going to stay very long and hang out with fancy schoolin' people tooting their own horns over a cheap Mexican food work lunch. I'm pretty sure that I'm destined for something cooler than that. And if I'm not, at least I didn't spend a shitload of money to get there.
On another topic entirely...I read that Andrea Yates' ex-husband got remarried, just two days before his ex-wife's retrial was to begin, in the church where his children were buried less that two years ago. My thoughts on that are how sad I am that these children were killed by their mother, and their father knew she was sick...so sick, and he left them there alone with her, and he's off scot free....so these children were abandoned by their father once, and yet again, when he felt comfortable enough to hurry and remarry in their very shadow. I am certainly appalled by the mother's actions, but at least she may really be sick...the father on the other hand is just an asshole. If I were to pray, I would pray for any more children that he chooses to produce, and a society that would feel comfortable letting a man like this continue to walk free and do so.
But, really...I don't exist...so I really shouldn't worry about such things. (for my friend Ric.) I really do hear you when you talk. I am listening. And at some point, I will dye my hair, take a bath, get off the couch, and be my very best non-existant self. But, today I allow my mind to focus on small things to avoid the great cosmos. Sometimes, not so smart, I begin again to pick up after myself.
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