Hmmm...define interesting.

My friend texts me to see if I've been doing anything interesting lately? Define interesting. I have not been sky diving, or seen the coral castle, or Ireland, or edible bugs, or the space station, etc., etc.  So no, not really.  I read about interesting, I know it's out there.  I know people are doing it.

I.

Right now, I am taking care of by neighbor's chickens.  My neighbors are on vacation - I'm sure that's interesting.  It's a cruise - on the giant, endless, strangely populated ocean - so, I know it is interesting.  It won't be so interesting when they tell me about it and show me the pictures. 

I did lay in the grass with the chickens examining me close up. They coo'd at me and pecked at my hair and glasses.  Personally, I was glad I had the glasses on.  After dropping an egg of theirs and watching them eat their own, I do suspect my eyeballs might have been to them, what fried chicken feet are to us. I'm only guessing though.  I did smell like chicken shit. I probably laid in some, but it washed off.  Better chicken shit than cow shit or human shit. Why yes, I do think there are levels of shit...human shit being the very worst. Yes, I am a self-loathing human shit hater.  I am very comfortable with it.

Some people say chickens are stupid.  I'm not convinced that they are any more stupid than some of the humans I see.  They seem to be a highly organized tribe - a bit of a well-oil/feathered machine.  I think they are probably more like a Communist Clan over a straight-up Dictatorship.  If one gets out of line, then they are pecked at severely and sent "over there" for a bit for re-education training.  And there are the Have's vs, the Have Nots. Oh, to be at the bottom of that barrel.

Two of them sit on me and let me pet them fairly often.  Which I think it quite forgiving of them, since every day I steal their eggs...their unborn.  Perhaps, they are just horrible mothers and thankful that someone takes the damn things. 

II.

I have an old lady neighbor stalking me, a bit.  She is short, and frail, but seemingly good health.  She knows that I am watching the chickens, and she keeps making excuses to call me and see me...be it all "for the chickens". Every day she calls me with yet another batch of slightly moldy bread or almost going bad fruit and vegetables..."for the chickens". And I forgot to give her back her Tupperware.   And last night, she was conveniently out taking her evening walk near the chicken house, and just happened to see me. Shit, now she knows my car. 

I pulled over and noted my shame in not returning her Tupperware quickly. And she said it was fine, but in that old lady kind of fine - where you know that it is NOT fine. She directed my vehicle to her home for more free, slightly outdated items.  She asked me to come in and meet everyone.  Her home is HUGE, and filled with lovely things, and animals and people.  Wonderful old lady things, that I just know have fantastic stories to them - Coffee clutch kind of adventurous stories. She is really super fixated on chatting with me. And now that I've seen the house, I am certainly tempted.  Maybe she is responsible for her mother, her adult daughter, her husband, and just needs another adult to chat with. But, am I really that person?  I'm not completely sure how I feel out being that person. It's not her, I think quietly, it's me.  I'm just so noncommittal these days.  I don't want to feel obligated to answer the phone every time. But, then, the other nagging part of me, the needing to care for and respect my elders. Oh, and the stories with the stuff.  And I do like coffee. Can you catch Stockholm Syndrome that fast?

Before I left, she gave me the lowdown on her yard, which is beautiful. Perhaps, I am even a bit jealous that I did not get to do all the similar projects in my own yard.  It's cool, and green, with many different plants and bugs, and small critters.  It smells nice, and I would like to nap there, I think. The fireflies greeted us.  The chickens do not stay up to catch fireflies.  How lucky for those bugs is that?...Well, or smart. 

She pointed at the neighbor's house across the street that she's in a slight feud with.  He always parks his car right in front of her driveway, making it hard for her to get out, and all because he stepped on her lawn once without asking permission.  She didn't care that he was on her lawn, but only, that he did not ask.  Now he plays "that car park business", just to get at her. And she did hope that I didn't have any trouble getting out of the driveway. I didn't state that I had about two cars worth of space and could totally get out.  No, I didn't say that.  

He's one of those Proud Mexican men, she noted.  Never like a woman to tell them anything.  I said if I accidentally hit his car, would she laugh or tell on me? Her eyes widened, and she did not reply.  But, she did smile a sneaky smile.  I think I would totally get away with it. But, I don't know her all that well enough yet, to commit a crime.

I took a drive last night before chicken/old lady time.  The road was long and the traffic was bad getting there. I saw three Latino punkrock boys crossing over the bridge to the river.  All had such great styled jet black hair. And they just looked like they were going somewhere to do something someone else would want to call them out on, but I would totally love...or maybe they were just walking.

I volunteered. And during that volunteer time, I met a lesbian couple who had just gotten married in New York. One was Jewish and one was Christian. I asked if they had a cake, since I love wedding cake.  They did.  And I also noted that I loved those tasty little melt-away mints and mixed nuts that were had at wedding and wakes alike, but I didn't believe in marriage for myself.  The idea of having a binded contract with any Government about who I could love or not love just drove me crazy. However, I loved that they got married and wished all those who wanted it, could do it.  But, mostly, I loved the cake. I also told them I was a non-believer, but I liked some of the stories. The Jewish lesbian said she hadn't wanted to marry in a synagogue. 

So, there we all were...different in some things, yet able to co-exist in the volunteer world.  If only the larger world would just do the same. The same with wedding cake for everyone.

III.

And on the drive home, I saw a drunkard, homeless man at a bus stop. He was sun-beaten, in a winter coat and jeans, covered in dirt, filth and stains. He was picking his nose. I mean, really digging in there to get that boogery treasure.  I wanted to ask him, "Why bother?".  The rest of you is dirty and stinky but you seem to be intent on cleaning out your nose.  What a strange thing.  And I didn't get to see if he actually got the booger, and if he ate it or not - the light changed.  Maybe I would have gagged, maybe not.  Maybe he would have just flicked the booger. Or maybe he would have wiped it on the bus stop for someone else to sit on and/or find. MAYBE he would have eaten the booger because he was starving? (I told my other friend about this, he asked me if boogers were considered Vegan. I didn't know the answer. Maybe, but they have all the days germs and pollutants in them, so surely not.)

The drive home to the chickens was quick.  I got on this familiar stretch of road.  And I still remembered how to time my speed from my pizza delivery day.  I didn't hit one red light.  got a little sad to see more cool places being torn down to make room for more trendy shitbag stuff.  The awesomeness that made this town, cannot be recaptured in strange paint jobs and high-rise condos.  Those people already missed it...missed it all. 

I want to move soon.  I want to go some place that I don't remember when, so much.

IV.

And I got too tiny cupcakes for volunteering.  They had the good icing on them, not wedding cake icing, but not that "light" icing shit either.  I ate them both.

yeah, define interesting.