Somewhere there's a list of things that we're not supposed to touch. I'm not just thinking about things like the burner on the stove or the fork in the light socket...not those obvious things... somewhere there's a list. We could probably ask Stephen Hawkins. He may know of the list, or have it buried on his desk with all of Einstein's notes and predictions. I'm pretty sure someone has it.
No, I do not think that there's a secret society of some sort. I've long given up that theory. We're just not smart enough to have one. We're smart enough to hang out with like people and keep some secrets, just not smart enough to have an actual secret society of some sort. Someone always talks, or breaks ranks, or leaves clues. We're just not that smart. So, someone has the list. I vote go ahead and give it up.
Most of us, including me, are too busy to be thinking about the list....or, just thinking at all. At some point, we just don't think. There's a certain comfort in this. Comfort in the daily grind. Comfort in all things non-imaginary. Most things we just take for granted, like they're just there, and that's that.
Example: Who was the first person to think about dark matter? That's really using the ole noodle. Instead of just assuming that there was dark and light. That there were just things floating about....there is a matter, a physical thing that is holding the light or pushing and pulling with the light. Fantastic. So obvious. I'm just sorry that I didn't think of it first.
I thought this week about space, dark matter and aliens, a bit. An astronaut of high rank came forward to tell us all that there are most definitely aliens. It was in the news. I don't disbelieve this. Why not?!? What can't there be aliens?!? I'm not ready to assume that they are all smarter than we are. I'm sure that their are some, but probably not all. What are the odds that they are ALL smarter? That would really suck, if that were the case. Just look what we do to our own not smart people....if it us against the entire universe, well, we're screwed. Let the probing begin...bottoms up people...bottoms up.
Also, I'm not positive why the government or governments would keep this a secret. Is it that these aliens really are that cool, and we would pounce on them like we do the likes of Marilyn Monroe, and they just don't want to deal with it...all that fame? Is it that all the churches would fall because we would find out that what we thought was a God is really just a short grey female/male from a distant planet and there would be just a downfall in the economy from the churches no longer having money or maybe there would be such a mass suicide that we wouldn't have any workers left to tend to the crops? Or, everyone would want to leave and vacation party like it's the Florida Coast, and the aliens just don't want their shrubbery and lawns tainted with smoke, vomit, beer cans, and the smells of teenagers fucking? Hard to say.
Maybe they don't even have things like Males and Females. Maybe they don't even have sex. That would be a shame to not have that. And desserts, like snow cones. Sex and Snow Cones. Yeah, there are somethings that we have that are cool.
I don't think that I would freak out that much. Go ahead, make the announcement. Maybe it would finally rid all of our overpopulated planet from so many dumbasses and we could start again. We are a planet of weak minded people sometimes. Just see the American Library Associations list of Banned Books and the reasons the books were even tried for banning. Every year there's a new list. Really, even now, there's a list EVERY YEAR. I personally have yet to read a book, any book, that has swayed me to do this or that. And if someone is that easily swayed...well, we do have to question. Please do not respond with the Bible. Please.
Back to the aliens. My other thought was, since they probably exist, who did we entrust to sign the Inter-Galactic Peace Treaty? We obviously have one. I wanted to know to signed away some of our asses for probing for a few advances in technology. Who did that? And if you have been one of the chosen ones, who has been probed, could you get a copy of the IGPT, and find a loophole to get yourself out of the probing? Or, if you have not been chosen, and would like to sign up for probing, how does one go about signing up for that? It seems a little like a draft, no questions, no background checks. I feel quite sure that we would have had enough volunteers, had we been asked. Yes, quite sure. There wasn't a need to be so pushy about it.
Also, which of our lawyers is certified in Inter-Galactic Law? There has to be lawyers...there's always lawyers. Or is there a branch of the ACLU or some international group, that is educated to deal with these highly sensitive matters? Yes, I was just wondering. I haven't seen any news or commercials. Where are the suits? There's always suits. Am I just not looking in the right place? Instead of a black or grey suit, I suppose it should be a space suit. Is there a toll-free number? or a toll-free laser of some sort that we should have access to?
I was told my a dear friend, that the rumor around NASA, at the time that he worked there, was that there were lots of different kinds of aliens. And that we were a sort of amusement for them. Well, I can believe that. We're a source of amusement for me, too. Constantly. I find myself a source of amusement. And that there are even rumors...that's just like us. Most of our daily existence is speculation, concoction, and rumor. I'm not shocked.
But, if they do have some advanced thinking that would help us not just mill around daily, I sure would like that self-help book. They could just beam it into my head, I'd be ok with that. Well, given that it wouldn't break my mind....maybe just a few key chapters. Surely if they can speed around the universe, they can offer up a Self-Help Book with some actual relevance.
And what in the Sam Hell does this have to do with me. Nothing really, I suppose. I was just mulling it over, that we really don't know dick about the ways of the universe, and even less about our own existence day to day. At least, I don't seem to.
In the last month, I have had a series of serious dreams, vivid and shaking - often staying with me way past dawn and sometimes for days. In the last month, I've seen my past, my way - way past creeping up on me from the long buried cracks and crevices of my mind and my soul. People, actual people coming alive again from the dusty boxes I had neatly stacked for storage. I've been in shock about it really. Mostly shock. I have been quiet and staring blankly. Absorbing, dreaming, breathing - taking not a lot of action. Shock.
I am a separatist of sorts. I've kept things in control and non-linked most of my entire life. If you were to see the state of my car floor bed, it would be hard to believe this. But, it's true, I do not like to connect things and people. Then what would happen?!? Then what?!?
I suppose it's due to my upbringing- all the rules of a small town. The person that I am that has continually been told by family, leaders, friends, society - that I cannot act a certain way - that I cannot think a certain way - that I cannot be a certain way - Well, it's led to being a separatist. I have been able to make sure people, for the most part, feel safe (because we do like to feel safe), and I have been able to exist, for the most part, very happily.
Evidently, there are people out there who have been thinking about me. Can you believe this? Frankly, I'm shocked. Who would look for me? Who would hunt for me? Who would give me a second thought? And Why? I am so unbelievably ordinary. Who would bother? Seriously, what impression could I have left that would make people think of me? And do I even want to be responsible for that impression.
AND, of course, I wondered, what did they need from me? I am usually very busy, have a full life, tons of great people around me...would I even have the space to give? Holy shit, that's a lot of stuff. And if it's money...well, good luck with that. Part of being ordinary is being ordinarily broke. Seriously, good luck with that.
I have managed to be buried, to be unknown for somewhere around be past twenty-five years. That's a pretty good run. Not as good as D.B. Cooper or the Mayans, but still, pretty fucking cool run. I believe that I may still have the option of continuing my hiatus, somewhat...I just need the cash to buy a small spot on foreign soil - preferably an island. I don't need that much.
My friend Paul, who I haven't seen for a few very stupid reasons for about eight years, my dear friend Paul, who I finally saw the other night. He told me that it was just the planet Saturn moving around in the Universe. That Saturn was the planet that brought up new things that you haven't started, and old things that you haven't finished - yes, Saturn - hanging there making us do things whether we wanted to or not. And my dear friend Paul, who I do not think that he realized how much of an impact he made in my life, and he was standing there giving me the most comforting advice about this crazy month, that I had heard. And my dear friend Paul, who I didn't realize just how much I had missed him, until he stood there. I have been a fool to not check on him, all this time. I'm not being dramatic, Paul really is that fucking cool. We'd all be lucky to be around him more.
Which circles round to the list of things that we shouldn't touch and dark matter and aliens. I have begun to open the past. I have begun to dust off the boxes and throw all of the stuff out on the floor of my mind. This giant pile of papers, and knickknacks, and widgets, and the copies or copies, the scribbles on notepads, and the pictures...piles and piles of dusty papers falling to the floor, covering my neatly arranged desk - fluttering about, touching the ceiling, crunching and crinkling under my feet as I walk.
It has felt exhilarating and overwhelming. In my mind I am sweaty and out of breath from pulling out the drawers and papers - looking desperately and vividly for the list of things that I shouldn't touch. I am filled with energy and exhausted - all at the same time. All of those different things, not always good, I was not always good, that made me what I am today. I'm not sure that I want to deal with all the good because it is wrapped up with all of the bad. Not everything was good - not everything was good. And I'm not sure that I want the responsibility of forgiveness - whether I am giving or receiving it. I'm not sure that I want the responsibility of responding. I'm not sure that I was the laughing and the crying. I'm not sure that I want any of it. What do I personally owe? I did not come looking. I did not ask. Do I owe if I didn't start it? Reasonably, probably so...just a bit. I should probably check in a bit. It might actually be worth while.
Twenty-five years of quiet...it may just not be enough. All these piles....
Stephen Hawking are you there? Do you have the list?
Do you feel like making a bet?
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