Soul Vomit

A man was convicted this week of sticking his baby in a microwave. It was a small article buried with the other shit. The baby has had several skin grafts, and will bare these scares for the rest of her adopted life. It was in a hotel room, near a beach, the baby was crying. We've seen the hotels near the Texas coast, they're not pretty or fancy. Hand-me-down bedding, the smells of cleaning supplies and sand and stale smoke and booze. He just stuck the baby in the microwave. Took the time to decide how many seconds he could get away with, set it, pushed the buttons, and without a pause pushed Start. He later took the baby to the hospital, and tried to pass the third degree burns off as a really bad sunburn. The mother was at the hospital supporting the man.

Now we're having a trial, because we're fair, and sometimes it's because of God, or he's crazy and we should care.

My first thought about this story was simply fuck you people. This story has stuck with me. How can it not touch you? Even though I don't know them. I'll never meet the little girl. I'll never see how she's going to dress, or who she's going to hang out with, or what scars she'll bare. Her life began with surgery and hate.

I'll take the wrap with God for all of us. Seriously, I will. I don't have so much hate for people like this guy that I need to make it painful for them. However, I don't seem to feel a real super warm fuzzy about keeping them alive anywhere. I'm ok with the death penalty. I do not think that you can do such a horrible thing to anything, and somehow through punishment or shitloads of counseling suddenly become a viable member of society. Aren't we just kidding ourselves if we think that we would want this guy for a neighbor. Every time I put my food in my own microwave, the thoughts came. It stuck with me. I couldn't eat.

The anger of the story stayed with me. It mulled over and over in my brain. I suppose it's these kind of stories that effect people enough to take action of some sort. Ok, I support the legal killing of another human being.

In the same week, a chimp escaped from a research facility here. It's not the same climate I'm sure that the chimp came from. But, if I were the chimp, I'd take my chances on the outside with the weather and food and stick around there.

I imagined just how scared the chimp must have been. How determined the chimp must have been. The amount of careful thought and spirit it must have taken to take flight and fucking run for it's life. Saying goodbye to the others. Passed the walls of confinement to air, plants, dirt of freedom. The chimp got caught. It was without a name, or an in depth worry news. That life just became a blurb. As though it's life was not as worthy of notice as the traffic we've been having.

I hate the way we torture animals. It makes my heart and soul hurt. I don't know how those humans justify looking into their eyes and do what they do. What work is that important? Nothing. I have a disease that's going to kill me. I take that as mine. But it's part of nature, part of life, I'm not supposed to work or give influence, or breath forever. I am supposed to die.

I couldn't find anyone to talk about my feeling with. My heart hurt. I was sad. And these things on the T.V. said to inform me. No way to act on the information that I received. I was somehow just supposed to take it in, and then what? Then what? For your information only is a crock of shit.

I wanted to see the man and woman, with what they did to their baby, dead. I wanted to make sure that I voted correctly. I know that some countries world wide have gotten ride of the death penalty. I don't care why, there isn't a reason that's good enough for me. It's not good to just keep people here. We have too many people here already. Some people just draw short on the DNA lottery, their brain or soul doesn't work right, something is defiantly wrong, we can all agree on that. And it is sad, more sad than most things, but I have no misgivings about getting rid of them. I could sleep just fine knowing that their life was wasted and we ended it. Sleep just fine.

And the chimp, I wanted to get in my car and find the chimp. Yes, I know the chimp would have been violent, and could have hurt me. I would have brought it home and found a refuge for it; away from testing. Yep, I would have taken my chances with the animal. I couldn't do it, it had already been caught and taken back. But, I would have. Fuck it, I would have done it. Stuff like that is that important. I don't even like zoos. I don't even like to kill bugs.

So, I thought we could just free the animals and test on the bad humans. Not like history has done in the past, to just any old human that's not liked. But, the child molesters, the people who abuse or murder, I don't have a problem with that.

I'm just saying what we're all thinking, so don't' yell. It's just a blog. But, the older I get, the more horror that I see, I have no problem with experimenting on bad people. Let the mice and the monkeys go. Go ahead and put the man and woman in the microwave. I'll take the wrap with God, and hell, I'll even push the Start Button.

I laid near my new flower garden, so sad, nothing of the tiny petals that could dissuade me from the mood, and cried.