It is my job to give advice. It is my job to keep secrets. It is my job to be supportive. I'm good at it...I can do the job. However, I note, that just because I'm good at it, doesn't mean that I really enjoy it.
This week, those items, above mentioned, were tested. I had to be thoughtful. Really being thoughtful is mostly against my nature. I'm ultimately self-centered and a bit harsh. I do have a sense a fairness for all, but not at a complete cost to the completely unreasonable. I loathe being trapped into being professional, polite and courteous...which is the business norm. What a crock of shit that is. I would much more prefer to just say what I mean, and let the chips fall where they may; however, people don't like honesty. I should say people don't have the stomach for honesty.
So, when confronted with too many things that I have to be thoughtful about, man, oh man, does that ware me out. I found myself thinking this week: What?!? Are you kidding me?!? And, lacking the position to really say that outloud.
I found myself surrounded by klans, as well. We are all so traditionally comfortable with being part of a group, or klan, that we will cut off our noses to spite our faces. It is impossible to make everyone comfortable at all times. You can still be fair in the middle of being uncomfortable, that is possible. But, so many people lack the balls to do just that. Sometimes you have to have the ability to say no. You have to have the ability to say no, in order to reach the bigger goal. So many people lack the balls to do that. And we see examples of this in the larger scale of the world currently.
So, I was thoughtful and mindful this week...oh, yes, I fucking was. And I still watched as others blunder their way. I really have been liking where I work, up until now. The company wants to grow without making it's people grow with it. That is impossible. You will not grow if you people don't. They can not stay the same, small company, klan, family like people. And who said that I wanted to be part of a family at work. Are you fucking kidding me?!? I have a family, and I use my work as a way to provide fuel for my family to work. I do not go to work to include those people as part of my family. Yuck! Blah!
This week, those items, above mentioned, were tested. I had to be thoughtful. Really being thoughtful is mostly against my nature. I'm ultimately self-centered and a bit harsh. I do have a sense a fairness for all, but not at a complete cost to the completely unreasonable. I loathe being trapped into being professional, polite and courteous...which is the business norm. What a crock of shit that is. I would much more prefer to just say what I mean, and let the chips fall where they may; however, people don't like honesty. I should say people don't have the stomach for honesty.
So, when confronted with too many things that I have to be thoughtful about, man, oh man, does that ware me out. I found myself thinking this week: What?!? Are you kidding me?!? And, lacking the position to really say that outloud.
I found myself surrounded by klans, as well. We are all so traditionally comfortable with being part of a group, or klan, that we will cut off our noses to spite our faces. It is impossible to make everyone comfortable at all times. You can still be fair in the middle of being uncomfortable, that is possible. But, so many people lack the balls to do just that. Sometimes you have to have the ability to say no. You have to have the ability to say no, in order to reach the bigger goal. So many people lack the balls to do that. And we see examples of this in the larger scale of the world currently.
So, I was thoughtful and mindful this week...oh, yes, I fucking was. And I still watched as others blunder their way. I really have been liking where I work, up until now. The company wants to grow without making it's people grow with it. That is impossible. You will not grow if you people don't. They can not stay the same, small company, klan, family like people. And who said that I wanted to be part of a family at work. Are you fucking kidding me?!? I have a family, and I use my work as a way to provide fuel for my family to work. I do not go to work to include those people as part of my family. Yuck! Blah!
Thoughts of sarcasms boiled in me. Thoughts of why were these people try in sabotage themselves boiled in me. Then more thoughts of sarcasms boiled in me. I'm not trying to say from some mountain top, that I am the greatest thinker of all times...More like, I'm not the greatest thinker of all times...so, you guys must really be dumbasses.
I will use today to think of loftier things...take a break. With only whispers that me and all of Japan have the balls to say no, and sit in the uncomfortable chair.
I will use today to think of loftier things...take a break. With only whispers that me and all of Japan have the balls to say no, and sit in the uncomfortable chair.
I'm turning Japanese, I really think so.
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